Never Again
by MorgannaJ
Summary: Tony Almeida's POV...Reflections and reactions to the events at the end of Day1... (Mild Swearing) Warning Season 1 Spoilers (final chapter posted)
1. Never Again 1

Season 1 Spoilers  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, except a $40000 student loan, so please don't sue me  
  
Plot takes place just before the events of 11:46 pm day1 where Jack sends Mason the incriminating video footage of Nina murdering Jamey and planting the evidence to make it appear to be suicide thus proving her to be the mole. Not entirely accurate to the events that took place during the end of this episode.  
  
Tony Almeida leaned forward in his chair, elbows propped up against his desk and his head resting against his hands. 'Is this friggin day ever gonna as he reflected on the day. He sighed as he ran his hands through his hair, he had been up for more then 24 hours and could not remember being this tired ever....  
  
Tony looked up and searched around CTU for Nina Myers, his girlfriend, but couldn't see her anywhere. He smiled to himself, thinking of how much trouble he had gone through today trying to help her out and cover for Jack, but she was worth it. His past history of relationships had been nothing to brag about. He loved feisty, stubborn women but it had always bugged him how emotionally detached they always were. Nina was no different but he had learned to accept that. Truthfully he knew that their relationship mainly consisted of sex and companionship. But Tony knew that he had forfeit any chance of a real relationship when he decided to join the marines way back, and then accepting this position at CTU. His life was his job as sad as that sounded, there was no room for passionate relationships, the 2.5 children, the family dog and the utopian white picket fence . He knew that she was the best he could get with the path in life that he chose. He loved being around her, and although he couldn't exactly say that he loved her, he did care for her deeply. And to think he had almost lost her today he thought sadly. All he wanted to do now was go home with Nina, put all the past and the day's events behind them and hold her tightly against his chest.  
  
He was kicking himself for accusing her for still sleeping with Jack at the beginning of the day . Perhaps his jealousy of her and Jack's previous relationship had skewed his judgment towards of both her and Jack Bauer. He didn't hate Jack, but he didn't entirely trust him either. Jack's practices at work were too unethical for his liking. It almost seemed like Jack got a rise out of breaking the rules and being the bad ass of CTU. To Jack it was always the end justifies the mean despite the consequences. But Tony saw Jack in a new light after today. Knowing what Jack had been up against, Tony knew his actions would have been the same even if Nina had not been there to steer him into the right direction. And the events that had transpired with Jacks family consolidated the unspoken rule regarding CTU and family in Tony's mind. There was no way to balance both, and there never would be.  
  
"Almeida......Almeida"  
  
Tony was jolted out of his thoughts suddenly and saw George Mason walking quickly towards his desk. 'Oh shit'.  
  
"Why the hell is my system locked down?" Mason inquired as he approached the desk. Tony began to open his mouth to reply, his mind veering 100 miles a minute.  
  
George interrupted, "Nevermind, I need to initiate a level one lockdown", as he pushed by Tony and started typing on the keyboard.  
  
"Why" asked Tony with a puzzled look on his face "What are you up to George? "  
  
George's phone rang in his pocket and he reached to answer it "Mason" George gestured for Tony to finish the lockdown protocol. "Yeah, was Jack right with his suspicions ? ....Ok send the video feed over to Almeida's station, my system is malfunctioning" George hung up his phone and started retrieving the sent video feed off the system.  
  
"Tony, I need you to focus now, no matter what this feed shows, you have a job to do"  
  
A deep sinking feeling started to seize his entire body. 'What the hell is Mason playing at?' Tony watched his screen in fear as he saw the picture of the ITS room display onto his screen  
  
"Sir, where did this feed come from, there's no cameras in there, I verified it myself.".  
  
"No not on the main system, but Walsh was suspicious that CTU had been infiltrated and he had installed additional manual security cameras....Just watch"  
  
Tony stared at the monochromatic video footage, not knowing what to expect, yet a deep sense of dread had imbedded itself in the pit of his stomach. Jamey was sitting handcuffed in the chair with a panic stricken look on her face, just where he and Nina had left her earlier in the day after they had discovered that she had been bought out. Tony glanced at the time counter on the monitor 'wait that was 10 minutes before Jamey died, what the hell' He knew what the outcome would be. Suddenly the door opened and Nina confidently walked into the ITS room and moved towards Jamey face totally blank and emotionless.  
  
"Sorry Jamey you screwed up, I'm not taking the fall for this" Nina said coldly.  
  
Jamey looked up at Nina in shock and questioning "What? Your not.."  
  
"What you and who your working for never realized is that your just a pawn in something much bigger, and I'm not taking the fall for your stupid mistakes" Nina interjected calmly.  
  
With that Nina smashed the coffee mug that sat on the desk and put a hand of Jamey's mouth to muffle any screaming and proceeded to calmly slit Jamey's wrists. In a matter of seconds Jamey was unconscious. Both Tony and George stared at the screen in utter disbelief. Tony felt numb all over.  
  
"Jesus Christ" Tony uttered to himself ' No this can't be right, Nina would never...' But deep down he knew the truth and knew that he would never be able to erase those images from his mind.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED SHORTLY  
  
Please R&R 


	2. Never Again 2

Season 1 Spoilers  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, except a $40000 student loan, so please don't sue me  
  
Thanks Anariel for pointing that out, I've just fixed it (  
  
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George was just finishing up barking orders into his phone as he placed a hand on Tony's shoulder.  
  
"Almeida, we've got to find her before she leaves CTU, and we need her alive so we can find out who she's working for, get to it" Tony jumped out of his shocked reverie and stood up. His mind was a whirlwind of broken thoughts, yet his body was moving on its own accord. He felts as if somebody had injected ice water into his body.  
  
"Mackenzie just called in and said he found Smith down by the corridor close to the parking garage exit....Start at that location I'll see if I can cut her off at the other end" George said.  
  
Tony felt his body responded to the order automatically and break out into a run. It took all his strength and will to focus his mind at the task at hand. He ran past the downed agent and suddenly he heard the breach alarm sound off. 'Shit she's gotten outside' He felt his pace quicken, and he quickly spotted another agent down as he gazed towards the desk situated next to the agent. He grabbed his walkie talkie and called it in.  
  
George responded "I'll meet you inside the parking garage, hopefully we can cut her off there"  
  
"copy that"  
  
He heard a crashing sound from beyond the door and ran towards the door. He dreaded as he opened it slowly to what was beyond. Two cars appeared that were smashed up badly and then beyond one of the cars he saw Jack holding Nina at gunpoint. 'She deserves this' thought Tony angrily. After everything she's done today. She not only betrayed her country but her collegues, her friends and the civilians that they were sworn to protect. But if Jack killed her the blood would be on his hands and we will never find out who she's working for. Jack had not noticed Tony slowly approaching them, Nina did not show any realization on her face, but Nina never revealed anything on her face. "Jack don't do this she's not worth it" Tony said trying to feign calmness in his voice.  
  
"She deserves this Tony and nothing less, look what she did to my family today, she put them all at risk."  
  
"Jack I agree with you she does deserve this, hell she deserves worse then this, but if you kill her you'll take the fall for it. What about your family Jack they need you, especially after today, they need you to be with them not rotting in some prison cell." Suddenly George and two guards came into view on Tony's left side.  
  
"Come on Jack, just go inside, Kim and Terri are waiting for you" George intervened. "She will pay for what she's done, if you kill her it will give her the easy way out"  
  
Jack lowered his gun a fraction but still had it trained on Nina.  
  
"I'm sending in the guards in to apprehend her Jack, Ok?"  
  
"Yeah"  
  
In a matter of seconds Tony could see the fatigue on Jack's face, and soon the guards were cuffing Nina. Jack lowered his gun totally and backed away from the situation.  
  
"Come on Jack lets go see your family" George spoke quietly as he lead Jack back towards the CTU office.  
  
Tony let out a breath that he did not know that he was holding. He looked on as the guards subdued Nina and finally had her handcuffed and standing between them. Tony looked over to her and looked into her eyes that were blank as usual. A storm of emotions raged through his body as the guards led her away. She paused right in front of him and he felt her gaze burn into him.  
  
"I'm not sorry you know, you didn't really think I actually cared about you? I used you Tony, don't ever forget that."  
  
Tony felt his rage and hurt fill his body. God he could only imagine the contempt that Jack felt towards this women, if he felt that way.  
  
"I always warned you that emotions make you weak.....And Tony by the way, I left you a little present." The corners of her mouth twisted into a sickly sweet smile.  
  
The two guards dragged her away Nina never looking back.  
He felt his anger subside once she was out of site. As his fatigue settled in once again new emotions began to embed themselves in his mind. He felt lost, he felt betrayed, he felt as if someone had stabbed him right through the chest, right through the heart. Yet he willed himself onward back into the office, his body now on autopilot. The moment he walked back to his station he forced his emotions back down. Emotions were a luxury that people at CTU did not often indulge in. There would be a time for that later, when he finally would make it home, and he would finally be able to sleep. He sat back down at his desk and sighed as he rubbed the back of his neck. 'How could I have been so fucking stupid? I should have known that she had a secret agenda, she was out of my league to start with. How could she do this to me' Tony belittled himself. ' Stop thinking about it, there's nothing that can change anything.' He noticed Jack walking towards him concern and fear crossing his tired features. "Have you seen Teri lately?" Jack inquired with worry.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED  
  
R&R Please pretty please 


	3. Never Again 3

Season 1 Spoilers  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, except a $40000 student loan, so please don't sue me  
  
Alrighty here's the last chapter for this story.....Please read and review  
  
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He noticed Jack walking towards him concern and fear crossing his tired features.  
  
"Have you seen Teri lately?" Jack inquired with worry.  
  
"Not lately, have you asked Kim? Maybe she knows"  
  
Jack started rubbing his eyes "Kim hasn't seen her since she was brought in, something's not right, Teri wouldn't just disappear like this?"  
  
"I don't know Jack" Tony replied warily rubbing his forehead. Something was nagging him, but he couldn't put his finger on it. Tony stood up and walked around to where Jack was standing. "Lets go find her" Jack looked Tony straight in the face and could see that he was fighting a loosing battle with his emotions.  
  
"Thanks Tony, for everything you've done today. She had me fooled too. I trusted her when I should have been trusting you" Tony just shrugged in response.  
  
"I'll take the right corridor and you go down the far left, we'll eventually cross paths"  
  
Jack nodded and turned to leave. Tony started walking down the corridor quickly, knowing that that the sooner they found Teri, meant the sooner they would debrief and then he could go home and attempt to erase the events of this day from his mind. He remembered Nina's last words to him. He had been told countless times in the past while in the marines that displaying emotions was to display weakness. He was becoming better at hiding them, but still acted out on them. He had always believed that emotions are what kept one human. He couldn't figure out what she meant by the word 'present' , although he was sure that he didn't want to know. Especially now since he knew what kind of person Nina really was. She was a monster. He started towards the back corridors of the CTU offices, barely anybody ever circulated this area, but if Teri needed some time to get away for a bit this would be the perfect place. Tony suddenly tripped over something and battled to keep his balance and stay standing.  
  
"Shit"  
  
The object that had caused him to trip was a downed security guard. He reached down and touched the fallen mans neck, noticing that this mans skin was eerily chilled. He searched around for a pulse but nothing could be felt. The feeling of dread that he felt earlier started to grow, as he heard Nina's taunting words of a present echo in the depths of his mind. He felt adrenaline course through his body and he started to believe he knew what that present was. He felt like he was going to be sick, as he dragged himself away from the body and restarted his search with a renewed fervor. As he continued down the corridor, his ears caught the sound of something indistinguishable. It was faint and he proceeded quickly to find the source. It slowly became louder and louder. It sounded like the cries of someone that had been critically wounded. He came to the door of one of CTU's storage rooms, with one hand on his gun he slowly opened it. Nothing in his life could have prepared him for the sight that was revealed behind the door. Not his few short years at CTU nor his experience in combat with the Marines. On the far side of the room Jack sat on the ground sobbing with the lifeless form of his wife cradled in his arms. Jacks head was down and made no sign of acknowledging that he knew that someone else had entered the room. Tony leaned against the wall and closed his eyes as if trying to erase the image that sat before him, his body frozen, and his mind numb. There was nothing that he could do, Nina did get the last punch just as she had wanted. Jacks broken voice broke through the fog in Tony's mind and brought him back to reality.  
  
"Please god don't let her leave me. Oh god please don't do this to me......No you can't take her away"  
  
Tony opened his eyes slowly and saw some of the CTU paramedics trying to get Teri's body away from Jack and place it on a stretcher unsuccessfully because Jack wouldn't let go of her. Tony walked slowly towards them knowing that he had to do something.  
  
"Jack there's nothing you can do, she's gone" Tony whispered sadly as he kneeled down facing Jack. "You need to get it together Jack, Kim needs you to be strong"  
  
"Oh God, how am I going to tell Kim?" Jack whispered with fear as the paramedics placed Teri's body on the stretcher and covered it with a sheet. Tony felt sorry for the man sitting before him but knew that getting Jack's mind back to reality and focused on the future would be the only way that he would allow Teri's body to go.  
  
"Tony can you please tell her, I can't do it"  
  
For the first time since Tony had been hired at CTU, Tony saw intense fear on Jacks face.  
  
"I can't do that Jack, you know that, she needs your to tell her, she's going to need you there for on, lets go, and lets get both of you out of here"  
  
Tony stood up and offered a hand to Jack to help him get up. Jack somewhat nodded and accepted Tony's offered hand and stood up. Jack wiped his eyes and started walking out the door with Tony following silently. They both walked down towards the main area of CTU deep in their own thoughts, both chastising themselves in various degrees for not being able to see through Nina's façade. The moment they both arrived at the main area of CTU, Mason walked over to the two defeated men  
  
"Jack I'm sorry for what happened. None of us saw this coming..."  
  
"Shut it George" Jack interrupted abruptly "I don't want to hear any of your bullshit excuses, you promised me that my family would be safe, now my wife is dead....great job"  
  
Mason calmly replied "Jack look we've all had a long day I understand that your upset but.." "Upset damn right I am I trusted you, you son of a bitch...My wife is dead because of that bitch and your incompetence. Now I have to go tell my daughter that her mom's dead and try to pretend that everything will be all right" Jacked yelled angrily  
  
"Look Jack take a couple of weeks of OK be with your daughter and sort this out"  
  
Jack looked at Mason straight in the face, eyes full of hatred, "Here is my verbal resignation, you will have it in paper tomorrow, I'm through with this bullshit, I refuse to sacrifice anything else"  
  
With that Jack turned on his heel and walked away.  
  
"Almeida, go and debrief and go home take tomorrow off, you need it"  
  
Mason said and patted Tony on the shoulder and walked away. Tony walked warily over to the debriefing room, dreading having to recount every detail of the day. He pressed record on the tape recorder and started his story from the moment he walked into the CTU building the previous night. His voice droned on for just under an hour with his recounting of the evernts, then finally it was over. 'Thank God" he thought now I can go home. He left the CTU building, not so much as even acknowledging any of his colleagues presence. As he reached into his pocket to fish out his car keys, Darren a good friend of his approached him  
  
" Hey Almeida, me and a couple of the guys from field ops are going to grab some beers, wanna join?"  
  
"Not now but thanks for the offer, just gonna go home and hit the sack maybe some other time"  
  
"That's cool man"  
  
Tony found his keys and opened the car door and Darren started walking away but turned towards Tony  
  
"Almeida, you take care of yourself OK?" Tony looked up and nodded  
  
"Will do" and with that Tony got into his car and drove away.  
  
The next thing Tony knew he was pulling into the parking lot of the condo building that he shared with his cousin. He couldn't figure out how he had gotten home so quickly without even realizing it. He exited the car and made his way up to his apartment, sighing with relief as he opened the door and realized that his brother was still away. Everything was exactly where he had left it. He locked the door and made his way straight to his bedroom without even turning on the lights. He sat down on his bed and took of his shoes then laid back onto his duvet and closed his eyes. The fog that had clouded his mind since Nina had been arrested was dissipating and a whirlwind of his thoughts and memories were becoming clearer, and his emotions were taking over. He felt a myriad of feelings of anger, betrayal but most of all he felt lost and lonely. Nothing would ever erase the images of Nina being led away or seeing Jack cradle his wife's dead body. Tony felt as if a damn had broken inside of him as his tears poured down his face. As he cried in the darkness of his room he vowed to himself to never fall victim to his emotions again. Emotions were dangerous, that is what made him fall blindly for Nina. It was going to end here. Yes he knew what loneliness was but it was better then being hurt.  
  
And with that Tony fell into a tormented slumber his dreams filled with the sorrow, betrayal and heartbreak that he felt. In the early hours of the morning Tony awoke in the darkness, and found his solitude. And whispered the words that would become his mantra. "Emotions are weakness......Never again" 


End file.
